Your Mindset Comes From Within

If you’ve spent some times reading about self-improvement type things, you’ve probably come across many references to people saying things like “it’s all in your head,” or sometimes referring to it as “inner game.”  When you’re just starting out, it can be frustrating to read that kind of thing, especially if you’re analytical in nature, because it’s like “no, it’s not in my head.  Look at all this objective evidence I have to the contrary.”  You may then go on to justify it as “sure, those successful people are in a good mood because they’re successful.  I’m sure if I were successful, I would be happier, too.”

That mindset can take a long time to overcome.  I’m talking months.  Maybe even years.

And what sucks about it is that it’s a self-fulfilling mindset.  According to that way of thinking, the more unsuccessful you feel, the more justified you feel in being in a negative headspace.  It makes sense to you, which makes it a strong, inner belief, and that’s why it can be so hard to change.

Say you go out to a bar and see a guy who is being approached by many different women.  He seems to be smiling and having a good time.  He’s putting out a positive vibe.  You see this and think to yourself “well obviously he’s happy, look at how many women are hitting on him!”  You then think about yourself, and not only do women not approach you, but they don’t even seem interested when you try to talk to them!  No wonder you’re giving off negative, defeated vibes!

The thing is, that other guy isn’t giving off positive energy because of all the women that are talking to him.  It’s actually the other way around; they’re interested in him because he’s a fun guy who is giving off positive energy to the people he is talking to.

I know it seems backward, and that’s part of why it can be so hard to internalize this belief.

So let’s say you believe it.  The next question is “how do I become a more positive person so I can experience a more fulfilling life?”

One of the best ways is to start exercising.  Not only does exercise release endorphins that actually make you feel better and have more confidence, but it also results in improved health and appearance.  Go running.  Lift weights.  Join a club that plays a sport that you like.  It doesn’t even have to be a “normal” sport like baseball or basketball; there are even clubs for things like kickball (which is an awesome sport, btw!).  The benefit of this is twofold: not only do you get physical exercise, but you will also meet people who have a similar interest (you both joined the same league) which can be a great way to expand your social circle and meet new people.

I’m serious.  Order some cheap trainers at and get started.  They ship all over the world.  Go for a run.  Go to the gym.  Join a boxing gym.  Just make sure, especially if you haven’t worked out for a while, that you start slow.  You don’t want to get injured and set yourself back.

You may find that your mood is becoming more positive almost right away!