When is a relationship worth saving?

my wife 2

Because you can’t make a ho into a housewife (and whatever the male equivalent of that is).

The reason people want to “work things out” is because they are chemically addicted to the other person. It’s the same reason heroin addicts try to be functional heroin addicts. Everyone would prefer to work things out because that’s emotionally easier, but it’s often unrealistic.

No one here says to leave if there’s a little problem, but when the problems represent fundamental differences between two people, neither person is going to change (and if they did, it would be temporary until resentment built up and the relationship ended for that reason), so the better solution is to find someone with whom you are more compatible.

The threads are usually “my SO is banging other people. How do I get them to stop and become a faithful partner?” You don’t. They’re either a) not interested enough in you to stay faithful, or b) their personality is such that they don’t do monogamy. Regardless of the reason, the outcome for the person asking the question is the same. They’re not going to have a faithful relationship, so the solution is to find someone who wants the same thing they want.

So when is a relationship “worth fighting for?”

It’s pretty much only worth fighting for if the reason it’s in trouble is because you screwed up.

If your woman is being shady, it’s not worth fighting for. Why? Say it with me: people don’t change (aka. you can’t make a ho into a housewife aka you can’t make a drama loving crazy into a stable partner).

“but I love her so much” is not a reason to save a relationship if she is being a bad SO.

Granted, myself and some other white knights have been in that situation before, it’s still not the right reason.

Put another way, it’s only worth fighting for if BOTH people demonstrate through their ACTIONS that they want to fight for it.

Unlike with stocks, when it comes to people, past performance is the best indicator of future performance.

If someone has cheated on every partner they’ve had, don’t be surprised when they cheat on you. What did you expect to happen?

It’s like the turtle and the scorpion.

Look at the hoarders on TV who get their houses cleaned out and back to normal. Within 6 months they’re usually hoarders again.

Yes there are exceptions. Pointing them out doesn’t invalidate the rule.